Quinn, Male, 41

	- Narrator, project manager, father of Tera

	- 6'0, beige skin, 190lbs, wavy blonde-brown hair a few inches long

Tera, Female, 15

	- High School Freshman, daughter of Quinn

	- 5'7, pale-beige skin, 135lbs, shoulder-length bright copper-red hair

Kylie, Female, 20

	- Tera's former sitter, college student

	- 5'7, pale freckled skin, 130lbs, dark-red mid-back length hair

Heather, Female, 5

	- Girl babysitted by Kylie

	- 3'7, beige skin, 45lbs, brown shoulder-length hair

Jacey, Female, 7

	- Girl babysitted by Kylie

	- 4'0, beige skin, 55lbs, brown shoulder-length hair

Shawna, Female, 25-40?

	- Prostitute

	- 5'6, dark-brown skin, 135lbs, dark-brown curly shoulder-length hair

Day 1.042

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl
You're much too young girl...

“That was 'Young Girl' by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap...”

I listened to Gary Puckett for the forty-second time as I woke after spending the night with Kylie. His words had grown in meaning for me, starting as nothing beyond a sappy rock song like all the others, then becoming an empathetic crooning of a man who understood my confusing thoughts about Tera. This time, though, I couldn't stop thinking about the 'young girls' who had inspired Kylie to tell me her pedophilic fantasies.

One problem was that I think her scenario, her taboo thoughts, made me the pedophile. Kylie pretended to be seven, and I pretended she was that young, as well. I couldn't separate the role-play understanding I had that it was always twenty-year old Kylie sucking me from the way I'd let the image of a pre-pubescent Kylie bring me to orgasm in her mouth. I'd even let five-year old Heather's young face, and that of her seven-year old sister, Jacey, drift into the fantasy. I'm not proud of that fact.

I tried to honestly evaluate my thoughts around younger girls. I found myself conflicted. There was something very erotic about the innocence, especially when it was willing curiosity. Unlike Kylie, I'd not played doctor when I was that age. I'd had no opportunities to just have innocent fun, and part of me really wanted to share that experience with the girls. I let a fantasy play out where I did more with a seven-year old Kylie, more than just cumming in her mouth. I couldn't understand why it made me so hard, but there it was.

I can't describe how difficult moral decisions are when caught in a time loop. Whatever I did, no matter how abusive or horrible or taboo, all would be erased and reset the next morning. No one but me would ever remember what we'd done.

No one but me...

I'd remember, and that made it difficult to just jump into the scenario and let things happen. What would I think about myself? What would I feel if, say, I let Heather and Jacey see my cock, let them touch it, encouraged them to taste me? I was very conflicted. I thought I might enjoy the play, might even think on it somewhat fondly after. But I also know I'd have worms of horror, seeds of disgust and shame, for letting myself take advantage of their innocence, for being, even if just for one night, that guy.

I barely managed to take care of Curt's tires, still kicking around what I wanted to do that night. I couldn't help that thoughts of Kylie, Heather, and Jacey dragged my decision out and set me back on the path to run into Tera's former sitter again.

Once more, I went to visit Kylie at her request, and once more, she asked me to read to the girls while she was in the bathroom. I was abuzz with nervousness, excitement, unsure what the limits were, uncertain how I might react, how the younger girls might react.

Heather brushed my cock and this time, I just stood there. I waited, felt it again. On the third time, when she pressed her fingers against my bulge, I found myself smiling at Jacey on the top bunk.

I heard five-year old Heather giggle.

“It's really hard. Why is it hard?” The girl spoke those words again, and for a moment, I just stood there.

“What's hard?” The seven-year old asked from the top bunk, the same innocent curiosity which had been there the night before.

“His thingy. It's hard. See?”

This time, instead of pulling back in fear and concern, I stood still.

Jacey tried to peer over the top bunk but couldn't see. I smiled at her, trembling with Heather's little fingers gently probing along my length.

“I can't see!”

“Why... uh...,” I started, my voice wavering, “why don't you climb down and look?”

The girl scuttled down the attached steps and in seconds was beside her sister, the five-year old's hand still moving on my cock. I watched as Jacey's hand pressed onto my bulge, and together the two spent long seconds giggling and touching me there.

“Why's it hard?” Jacey repeated her sister's question.

“Well... girls... a guy's 'thingy' gets hard when he is excited and wants to be... uh... close to a girl...”

“Like, kissing her?” Jacey asked.

“Something like that, yeah...”

“Can I see it?”

I knew I was at that point where, if I didn't stop the game, I knew Kylie would soon see the girls touching my naked cock.

“Uh... have you seen one before?”

Jacey shrugged, “just boys, at the pool. One let me see it.”

“And did you let him see yours?”

They both giggled. Jacey finally replied, “yeah...”

“I'll make you a deal,” I said, my voice echoing with excitement and fear. “I'll show you mine if you both show me yours...”

They giggled again, then Heather said, “you want to see mine?”

“Y-yes...”

I heard them whisper a moment, then Jacey said, “ok, deal. You first...”

I don't remember doing it, but seconds later, I had unzipped my pants and pulled my hard cock out of the front of my slacks.

The girls didn't speak. I could hear them breathing a bit harder as they both stared at my throbbing penis just inches from their faces. I heard a noise behind me and knew Kylie was there. I didn't turn, wondering if she was growing wet seeing us like that. I looked down just as Jacey's fingers moved onto my length.

I groaned as her small fingers made contact. She giggled, and I laughed with her. “What's this?” she asked, pointing my dick up and showing me the precum dripping from the opening.

“It means I like you touching me... some girls like to taste it...”

“Ewww...” Heather said, not very convincingly.

Jacey considered it a moment, “like, they put it in their mouths?”

“Yes,” I replied. “Just put your lips over the tip, and use your tongue to taste it.”

She looked at her sister and laughed again. Both girls were blushing. Jacey considered it a moment, then she leaned her head forward, and for three or four blissful seconds, the head of my penis rested just inside the seven-year old's mouth.

Jacey pulled back and tasted the precum on her tongue. “Hmm... kinda sweet...”

“Me next!” Heather exclaimed. She grabbed my cock from her sister's hand and very quickly put my dick between her lips. She held me there longer, started giggling at the end. “I don't taste anything...”

“Here,” I replied, “I'll see if I can get some for you... Put me back in your mouth...” I ran my fingers down my shaft, milking the precum I knew was there out the tip. “Ok, there's some now.” I felt drops of my precum slip out the tip and onto Heather's tongue.

She pulled back and tasted it, “it is sweet!” The sisters laughed together a moment.

I was so fucking turned on. I hated myself for it. I hated that I was enjoying it. I hated that I wanted to play more. “So... you've seen mine... show me yours...”

The girls laughed and blushed. Jacey finally said, “Ok...”

I sat on the edge of the bed as she leaned back and flipped her nightshirt up to her waist. Her legs were slightly parted, and for several amazing seconds, I could see her immature, hairless slit. Jacey's bald little cunny was small and pink, a bit puffy, definitely years away from maturing into the genitals of a young teen.

“Wow,” I managed to groan. “You are beautiful there, Jacey...”

She laughed and held her shirt just a second longer.

“Can I... taste you? Like you did me?”

Her hips wiggled a bit as she considered my request. “I guess so...”

I was leaned down in an instant, my face close to the seven-year old's virgin pussy. I inhaled her scent, found her light and clean, more soapy than sexual from her recent bath. But there was a hint, just a hint, of her sex there, just enough to tell me that her genitals had grown aroused.

I ran my tongue along her slit and she giggled. I tasted nothing more than clean, fresh skin between her legs, her genitals warm but not slick until I licked them. I did it again, then again, her thin labia parting slightly, her virgin hole open just a touch. I looked at Jacey's vulva, could clearly see a whitish membrane just inside her vagina, the girl's hymen still intact. It was such an arousing sight that I started jerking off, leaning down for another lick.

“No, Quinn!” Kylie's shout rocked my world. “No! What are you doing? Get off her!”

“Whuuu?” I pulled back, stunned a moment. Jacey closed her legs quickly and looked horribly embarrassed.

“You fucking creep! You pedophile! What do you think you are doing? Girls, come here now!”

My pulse raced, my heart in my throat. The girls jumped off the bed and Kylie pushed them behind her. I noticed she had mace spray in one hand, a phone in the other. “Just stay here, asshole. Just stay here. I'm calling the cops!”

I froze on the bottom bunk, unable to move. I'd misjudged things horribly. I thought that the fantasy Kylie had revealed to me would mean she found what I'd done arousing and exciting. Instead, she was horrified by what she'd seen me doing, and her response was to protect the girls.

I heard her frantically talking to a dispatcher as she took the girls into a bedroom upstairs. I heard a bolt lock slide into place.

I was horrified by what I'd done. I hated myself. Not that I thought there was harm there, we were all just playing. But I hated myself, hated that I'd let my own pleasure get in the way of my better judgement. Even though the girls had started the innocent play, I was the adult. I was the one who should have stopped it, like I had the night before. Kylie's fantasy was just that, a fantasy. When she'd encountered the act being played out in reality, she'd done the right thing where I had not.

I found I respected Kylie immensely in that moment. I knew her taboo thoughts, knew how she'd fantasized about the sort of scenario she'd just witnessed. But unlike me, she'd had the resolve and morals to see the harm, to prevent the situation from going further. Rather than let her fantasy play out before her eyes, she protected the girls and did the right thing.

That just made me feel worse, and I knew I was that guy. I felt horrible. Even knowing that the night would end and none of this would survive my reboot, I'd remember. I let myself go too far. How had I gone from no interest or attraction to the girls to letting them put their mouths on my cock, to sinking between Jacey's legs and tasting her seven-year old pussy? I was out of control, and it took Kylie's protective instincts to shake me out of where I was going.

I sat rocking on the bed for ten minutes. I could have run, I could have gotten away, could have escaped long enough to reboot again and go back to an 'innocent' man. But like I had when I'd killed Curt, and when I'd been caught slashing his tires, I found myself willing to accept responsibility, even if only for that night. What I'd done wrong would rock my brain for a long time, and running away would only prolong the shame and hatred I felt for myself in that moment.

I heard Kylie race down the stairs after telling the girls to lock the bedroom door behind her. Kylie went out the front and raced back upstairs. Four large men in police uniforms rushed in and pinned me to the floor. I didn't resist. I couldn't resist. I let them cuff me and haul me down to a car. I sat inside a long time while other officers arrived. One questioned me eventually, and I was honest with him. There wasn't any point in lying. Hell, I still had the taste of Jacey's little pussy on my tongue.

So, once more, I spent a night in jail. Unlike the other times, I wasn't there for doing something I was alright with. I regretted what I'd done terribly. I felt sick. I thought about what would have happened had Tera been Jacey, and someone like me had taken advantage of her innocence. I cried a lot, asking no one in particular for forgiveness.

I spent those hours trying to find a way to wake the next morning and not be tempted by the immature genitals between Jacey's slender thighs, and despite my revulsion, my self-hatred, I knew I'd soon face the temptation to try again.

But just before I found sleep that night, I thought I had hit a barrier emotionally which might finally help me establish my moral boundaries. What I'd done caused harm, even if not to Jacey and Heather, but certainly to Kylie. I even suspected that she was suffering, knowing deep down that she held close fantasies about what I acted out, and I believed she likely was feeling conflicted about turning me in when she had played out that scenario so many times herself.

- - -

Day 1.043

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you...

I swam in hatred for myself when I woke up. I couldn't stomach Gary Puckett. Images of Jacey's immature genitals made me feel sick, both for the harm I'd inflicted and for how much I had enjoyed those not-so-innocent moments between the seven-year old's legs. I retched a couple of times and considered just staying in bed.

I heard footsteps on the stairs and knew Tera was getting ready for her date. I was barely able to push myself up and race to slash Curt's tires. I couldn't even look Tera in the eyes after she called him and found out he wasn't coming to pick her up. I didn't feel worthy of even hugging her. I was a shitty person, and it left me sitting alone in the kitchen after I had silently dropped Tera off at the dance.

I poured myself a bourbon, downed it, then another. I hated what I'd done. Hated that, unlike everyone else in the world, I'd forever be stuck with that memory. Even the understanding that Kylie, Heather, and Jacey had restarted their day without my violation having occurred did little to salve my self-loathing.

I knew I'd feel that way, at least in some sense. I knew that I'd finally push myself beyond a boundary and do something I regretted. I was thankful that my violation of Kylie's trust, of the girls' innocence, had been forgotten by the world even as I swam in the dark recesses of my own disgusting knowledge that I'd gone too far.

I had quite a buzz going before long. I felt caged, trapped. I couldn't sit in my house any longer, couldn't stomach the idea of seeing Tera, of feeling my shame, being unable to talk to anyone about it, most especially my daughter.

I grabbed my wallet and the cash from my dresser, then got in my car and drove aimlessly, no thought about how I shouldn't have been behind the wheel. I somehow managed to get myself to a shadier part of town, one I knew existed but had never had cause to drive through.

I passed abandoned shops and old, beat-up houses. I saw dirty children playing in the streets, tough dudes and rough-looking women randomly clustered on some blocks. I caught odd stares as I drove past, not thinking much on what I was doing.

I stopped at a light and saw a woman I knew immediately was a prostitute. She gave me a hollow smile from a few feet away, and without considering what I was doing, I rolled down the window and motioned her over.

The woman had dark-brown skin, normal height, wearing a mini-skirt and a florally blouse which hung loose off her thin frame. Her dark-brown hair was curly and hung over her shoulders. I couldn't decide if she was twenty-five or forty. She leaned into the car and said, “hello.”

“Hello,” I replied automatically, not thinking much beyond a general desire to drown myself in more booze and a wet pussy. “Need a ride?”

“Sure, sugar,” the black woman replied. “You a cop?”

I shook my head, “no. You?”

“Uh-huh.” She opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. “Start driving,” she said flatly.

I did so, and seconds later, the woman said, “pull out your dick.”

“What?” I stammered.

“Just do it. Then we'll talk.”

I fished my cock out of my pants, half-hard. She eyed it a moment, said, “alright. So... what are you looking to do?”

“Fuck.”

“No shit, white boy. Take a left here.” She eyed my cock a moment, then said, “you can put that away.”

I tucked my penis back in my pants.

She continued, “forty for head, hundred for pussy.”

“What's your name?” I broke in.

“Heh, like you care.” She pulled out a cigarette, and lit it without asking me if it was ok. “Shawna.”

“I'm Quinn. Can I get one of those?”

She narrowed her eyes, pulled out another and offered it to me, lighting it with a zippo once it was between my lips. I wasn't a smoker, but in that moment, given how dirty I felt, it seemed appropriate.

“What about your ass?” I asked between puffs.

“Huh... not tonight, Quinn...”

“How much?”

She paused and considered me a moment, “how much you got?”

“I'll give a thousand. You give me whatever I want.”

Shawna was silent a moment. “Liar. Look, I've heard it all before. Hundred for pussy and you do what you need to do, alright?”

I pulled some of the cash out of my pocket and thrust it in her direction, swerving dangerously and nearly hitting a parked car. “Thousand right here. Pussy, ass. Whatever I want.”

Shawna took the cash and made it disappear into the small black purse she carried. “Fine. I need a bathroom first.”

“No bathroom. I just want to pull off and fuck you. No hassles.”

Shawna stared at me silently. “You're a freak, dude.”

“Yes.”

“Fine, let's do this. You can pull down to the right beyond that old gas station. There's a lot down there.” She craned her neck to look around us. No other cars were moving on the road, and only a couple of sleeping homeless people were in sight.

I pulled the car down to the spot she indicated and Shawna got out quickly. I was right behind her.

She squatted down, pulling her skirt up a bit. The black woman wore no panties. “What, you gonna watch me take a shit?”

“No.” I said, pulling her up before she could start. I pushed another thousand dollars into her hand. “I'll take it right now.”

“Damn, son. You are a freak. Gonna get messy. You got anything to clean up with when this is done?”

I shrugged, “probably a towel or two in there,” I said, pointing to the car. “Worry about that later.” I was being an asshole. I knew it, and she knew it. I was drunk, somewhat miserable. All I wanted was to get some relief, even if it did nothing to fix what was wrong in my head. “Just bend over the hood.”

Shawna stood a moment, then leaned over the front of my car, hitching her skirt up above her ass. I stared a moment, her brown skin showing little detail in the darkness. She stuck her hand in her purse and pulled out a couple of condoms. I ignored her.

“Gotta wrap it, white boy.”

“No condoms.” I pushed a few more bills into the hand which held the Trojans. She eyed it a moment, but didn't resist.

I touched Shawna's pussy just a moment, her tight, rough pubes trimmed and scratchy. I pulled my cock out and quickly pressed it into her cunt. Shawna held herself still as I started to pump in and out of her body.

I wouldn't call it a pleasurable experience. Unlike the times I'd spent with more compassionate lovers, I wasn't interested in Shawna's experience. Even with Bobbi, I'd taken the time to bring her to orgasm, to make it enjoyable for her.

I wasn't fucking Shawna for pleasure. I was banging away at her loose pussy trying for just a while to forget what I'd done with Jacey and Heather, and in good measure, to forget a while that I had incestuous thoughts about my own daughter.

She made almost no sound as I fucked her, laying over the hood and letting me hammer away at her cunt. Shawna wasn't tight and after a few minutes, she was so loose I had a difficult time staying inside her. It was time to fuck her ass.

I pulled out and caught my breath. Shawna glanced back at me but didn't move. I expected this wasn't exactly new to her, and I doubted I was the worst asshole she'd fucked in her life. I spit on my fingers and rubbed them around her anus, pushing some inside. Shawna squirmed but didn't resist. Her butthole opened easily, and I could feel that her bowels were full and in need of release.

I can't say why that turned me on, but as I slid my cock into the black woman's ass, the pressure of her fullness made me throb with arousal. She took me easily there, lightly grunting as I started to pump myself in and out of her body.

I smelled her strongly after a few thrusts. The ripe odors of her waiting bowel movement grew heavy and I hammered myself against her. I knew she was getting very messy, and her grunts started to become tinged with discomfort.

I swelled in Shawna's butt, my cock slimy and streaked. I groaned as I started to unload, semen rushing out to add more volume to what was already trying to force itself out. I shot four or five intense jets of jism into the black woman's bowels, then pulled back and out of her body. Brown cum rushed out of the prostitute's raw anus.

She sank to her knees beside the car and I heard her bowel movement start in earnest. Shawna couldn't hold back, and grunted as the contents of her rectum squished out onto the ground. It happened quickly, and I soon heard her pissing strongly.

“Jesus, white boy. You're fucking crazy, dude.” She seemed unashamed to be openly shitting and pissing in front of me. I tried hard not to think about how she saw me.

I looked down and saw that my cock was covered in her mess, the smell stronger as she finished emptying herself. I fished a couple of towels out of the car and tossed her one, used the other to wipe the slimy contents of her bowels from my length. Shawna wiped herself as best she could and threw the towel on the ground.

She eyed me a moment, said, “we done here?”

I just nodded and got back in the driver's seat. Shawna came over to my window, said, “you crazy, dude. But if you paying like that, you can see me again...”

I reached in my pocket and pulled out the rest of the cash, thrusting it into her hands. “You earned it...”

Shawna shook her head and for the first time since I'd picked her up, smiled. “You alright, white boy. You alright.”

“Want a ride back?” I offered, already feeling shame for how I'd acted, still drunk.

“Nah, got a friend down the block. Gonna go clean up there. Night, white boy.”

She walked off and I started the car, heading back towards my house.

- - -

I drank more when I got home before finally showering and washing the brown mess from my groin. I was disgusted with myself, but it was a different disgust than I'd felt after being caught licking Jacey's little hairless vulva. Shawna had been a hole. Two of them, really. Just the warm body I needed to forget my shame a little while.

It hadn't worked, of course. I felt worse than I had before. I downed another shot of bourbon after my shower and dozed on the couch, swimming in shame.

- - -

“Dad?”

Tera's voice woke me from my stupor. My head ached terribly, and I fought to sit up as she sat down on the couch next to me. “Hey, Sweetie.”

“You ok? You don't look so good...”

“Yeah. Fine... just... rough night...”

Tera sat quietly, looking beautiful as always. I forced away the moments I'd shared with her over the previous nights, my head too thick and painful to deal with those memories.

“I'll get you an ice pack.”

She returned from the kitchen a moment later with a glass of water and aspirin, then pressed a cold compress to my forehead. “What happened?” she asked.

“I...” I debated how much to tell her, and for some reason, I needed to tell her, to tell anyone, what was going on. “Have you ever felt stuck, Tera? Like... repeating something over and over?”

My daughter looked at me concerned a moment, “like... deja vu?”

“Kinda, only... really stuck. Doing the same things over and over, like you can't escape.”

She shook her head. “No... not really...”

I looked at her face. “You're gonna think I'm crazy, Tera, but just hear me out.” I gathered my thoughts as best I could. “For about seven weeks, I've been stuck.”

“Huh?”

“I keep reliving this same night, over and over and over... I can't get out of it. No one remembers it but me. No one. Not you, not anyone. I go to sleep early Saturday morning and wake up at the same time I did the day before, only it's Friday night again.”

Tera didn't respond.

“I know it sounds crazy. But it is real, and I'm going crazy. At first, it was kinda fun, it let me do things without worrying about what might happen tomorrow. But...” Here was the meat of it. “I can't seem to find where to draw the line, you know? When there's no consequence for anyone but me... I can't stop from doing things I'd never do otherwise.”

She ignored the overall insanity of what I described and asked, “like what?”

I didn't really want to tell her about Jacey, but I did describe, in general terms, what I'd done with Shawna. “I feel horrible... about some things I did before... another Friday night that got reset for everyone but me... I feel horrible, even knowing that they won't remember it. I remember, Tera, I remember... so... I got drunk, tried to forget it, tried to stop feeling like a horrible asshole, and I picked up a hooker from the Southside. I just... I'm starting to question my own worth, Tera. I feel horrible, like I can't see the difference between harm and pleasure. I can't stop wondering what else I'll do just because I can...”

Tera gathered me against her, the softness of her body comforting but the thoughts in my head still troubled. “Shhh... ok, Dad, ok... whatever's going on... I'm here, ok? We'll figure it out...”

I cried against her chest, not even noticing the way my head pressed against my daughter's soft breasts. She held me and I realized after a few moments that she was crying, too.

I looked up and felt horrible for yet another reason. “I'm sorry, Tera... I didn't mean to make you sad...”

“I'm worried about you, Dad... this does sound... really crazy... It doesn't make sense...”

“I know... I wish... I wish there was some way...” I paused. “Tonight, when I was still in bed, before I got up, you were in the kitchen, right?”

“Yeah...”

“You were eating a banana, wearing only a white bra, blue panties, right?”

Her eyes narrowed, “I was...”

“I've seen you like that dozens of times Tera, dozens. You always wear the same thing each time I wake up. You're in the kitchen, eating a banana, getting ready to go out with Curt. I've relived this same night several dozen times already.”

I could see Tera had no idea what to think about what I said. “At the dance... Abby asked about me, right? She showed interest in me?”

Her eyes widened. “Yes... how...”

“I told you. I've done this before. It's different each night, depending on what I do. Sometimes I take you out to dinner and we have a date night, just the two of us... sometimes I drop you off at the dance, sometimes I even let Abby talk me into joining her inside... sometimes I go to the soup kitchen and help down there... sometimes... sometimes I enjoy the company of women while you're in your bedroom, sad that Curt cancelled your date. Do you know why he always has flat tires, Tera?”

She shook her head, clearly unsettled by what I told her. I couldn't stop explaining.

“I do it. I slash his tires every night.”

“Why, Dad?” Her words held some anger.

“Because of what he did to you the first night, because of the way he treated you. Because... I couldn't stomach you being hurt like that ever again. Even tomorrow, when you don't remember this conversation, I'll remember, and I slash his tires again, and you'll be sad until I take you to dinner or to the dance. Every time, I do that, Tera. I'll never let that unbelievable asshole take your virginity then treat you like scum. Never again.”

“What? My vir...”

I found I had started to raise my voice, passionate. I tried to calm myself. “Yes... you gave it to him... willingly... but afterwards... he called you names and hit you. I saw you walk through that door, Tera,” I said, pointing to the front of the house, “crying, your face bruised... I... Tera, I killed him twice. Both times, I couldn't stop myself. I was so angry that he'd treated you like that, so upset that you weren't treated like the amazing young woman you are that I killed him.

“At first, I didn't understand. I didn't know I was stuck, repeating each night, didn't know I could change things. So I killed him. Tera, honestly... I'd do it again and again if he treated you like that... And part of me hates that I did it. I live with that, Tera. Every day I live with that memory.”

“Dad... that's unbelievable... I... don't know what to think...”

“I know... it's crazy, right? And I'm stuck in it. Every day, I value the time I spend with you, even feel proud that I ensure you don't spend your night with Curt, that I can make sure that your Friday night is better than what that asshole does to you. But tomorrow, you'll wake up and everything I've said won't matter.”

“Of course it will matter, Dad! How could I possibly forget this?”

“I don't know, but that's how it works. Every time, I wake up, and the rest of the world has forgotten what happened. Every Friday night, you're leaning against the kitchen counter, in your underwear, eating a banana, not knowing that I was going to stop Curt from getting near you that night. Everything we've talked about, everything... I remember it, but you don't. I can't describe how frustrating that is... I love you so much, Tera... I feel so alone like this...”

I cried against her again, and her tears rolled down her cheeks onto my head.

Her voice was softer when she finally spoke again, “Dad... I... I want to believe you... I want to help you... but... it doesn't make any sense. Yesterday I remember so clearly... there's nothing there about repeating days... nothing... I'm worried about you, Dad... I need to get you help...”

She reached for her cell phone, and I took her wrist lightly. “No... please... I know this looks awful... but, no... just... Just hold me, Tera. Just love me tonight. Please, tomorrow we'll both wake up and you'll have forgotten all of this. Just... love me tonight...”

Tera's arm wrapped around my shoulder and she stroked my side gently. “Ok, Dad... but tomorrow...”

“Tomorrow won't come, Sweetie. There's only tonight.”

She didn't respond, just held me close. “I want to believe you, Dad... I'm trying...”

“I know...” A thought occurred to me, and I debated whether to mention it. “There's something you told me... Some nights the two of us talk a lot... kinda like now... this is the first time I've told you about being stuck like this, but we've talked about other things... Like... I know how you feel about me, Tera... you've been honest with me before...”

I felt her stiffen. She said, “what?”

“I know that... you've had feelings... about me... feelings that you don't know how to express, that make you feel weird. I understand, Tera... I understand because... I feel that way, too...”

“Ohmygod...” she whispered, “I've never... I...”

“I love you, Tera... nothing has ever changed that... but... each night... I feel more and more love for you... Sometimes, we're... closer... sometimes... we talk about things that are... uncomfortable and honest...”

“Wait,” she said, almost pushing me off her. “What are you saying, Dad? That... you and I... we've... we've been together?”

“No!” I exclaimed, “no, not like that... just... we've had some... moments where how you felt and I how I felt... were open... I never... Tera, I never took advantage of that... Never... I just... I just love you so much, Tera... I never want to hurt you... and I always want you to know my love...”

My daughter's face showed the thoughts racing through her head. “What did I tell you, exactly? What did we do? Dad... please be honest... I have to know...”

I sat up and felt heavy. My headache had become dull but my thoughts still felt thick. I sipped my water, and finally replied. “One night... we went to the pool... and I held you, you know, like we do sometimes, just held you and... part of you pressed against part of me...and you didn't move away... you told me later that you knew what was happening... and you wanted to continue... We talked about what it meant, and you admitted that you'd thought about me... as more than a father, sometimes... that... you had an attraction to me, and I admitted that I was attracted to you...”

“Dad... like... I touched your...”

“Not directly... just... you rested against me and I was... you know, hard... I kissed your neck and just held you... It was just a special moment, Tera... one of the best I've ever known... just holding you like that...”

I could tell she was wrestling with how much to admit to me. Instead of responding, she stood and said, “I really need to shower...”

I watched my daughter disappear up the stairs and moments later, heard the water running. I curled up on the couch, too confused and ashamed to think too deeply on anything.

I guess I dozed off. I woke to feel Tera settle on the couch next to my head, her fingers sliding through my hair. “Dad?”

“Yeah...”

“It's true, you know... I don't know why... but I do think about that... Even when I made the date with Curt, I compared him to you. I knew he was kinda a jerk, but... I dunno... I just... wanted to find a way to stop thinking about you, I guess. Ever since Mom left, I'd kinda thought of you as mine... Have you... always had feelings for me?”

“I've always loved you, Tera. Always. You've always been my most deeply-held love. But... until I got stuck, I didn't think about you that way at all. Sure, I noticed that you were growing up, and I guess I really loved joking with you like we do, but I never went beyond that... never beyond what was normal for a father to feel for his daughter... but once I got stuck, I found myself drawing closer to you. It's frustrating, Tera. Every night, I learn more about you, I share thoughts and emotions with you, and each time I wake up... you don't remember it...

“I've tried not to think about it. I know it is wrong, on some level. That no one would understand, that I'd be taking advantage of you, and I never want to do that, Tera. Never. So I... like tonight... I used another woman's body to try to find a way not to do something more than... talk... with you... It isn't easy, Tera... you're so beautiful, and I love you so much... I just... don't know what to do, and every night, every night, Tera, you show me a hundred new reasons to want you more fully in my life...”

Tera looked into my eyes a few seconds, and I saw her love warming her face. “Dad... I love you, too... really... I know enough to know it's more than just... normal... you know... So... what else have we done?”

“Hugged, mostly. Danced... and one night... when I wasn't feeling too well, you kept me company in bed... just cuddling, but... you wore only your panties... and it was... so wonderful, Tera...”

“So...” she said quietly, “you saw my breasts?”

“Yes... and you saw my penis...”

“What?”

“You helped me pull my pants off... I was in rough shape... another rough night... and... you know... I was out of my boxers...”

I saw her shudder. “Dad... I've seen that before, you know... I laugh it off, but... honestly... I kinda love it...”

“I know...”

She pursed her lips, “have you seen my pussy?” I shivered at hearing that word come from my beautiful fifteen-year old daughter.

“I don't know if you showed me on purpose, but once, I saw it... when you were getting off the couch... you weren't wearing panties... and I saw... oh, God, Tera...” I was hard, couldn't believe I was talking to my daughter about all this.

I watched as she glanced at my groin, my hard cock pressing out my slacks in a way which would have been obvious to her. She didn't show whether she was aroused or disgusted. Tera turned back to me and offered a small smile. “Can we cuddle, Dad? That sounds like it was really nice...”

“I'd love that... yes, Tera... I'd love that...”

She shifted and her nightshirt rose up her thigh. I watched her pause, looking at me. My eyes drew down to her thighs, and I saw that she wore no panties. Bright, coppery pubes rose between the slight part in her legs, just the hint of my daughter's pink slit visible below. She watched me stare, didn't move. Her face flushed as I looked back into her eyes. “You are so beautiful, Tera...”

“You, too, Dad...” Her legs opened wider as she made to stand up. For just a few seconds, her thighs parted and showed me her genitals. Tera's thin, pink labia stuck together, forming the most perfect clam I'd ever seen. Her fifteen-year old body looked so enticing. I longed to taste her.

The moment passed as her hips rose off the couch and her shirt slid back down over her thighs. Tera smiled at me, still blushing, and offered me her hands. She helped me stand and for just a moment, we faced each other, neither of us willing to move.

I pulled her against me and hugged her tight. Tera's arms wrapped around my waist, and when she looked at me, I found myself unable to stop from kissing her.

Her lips parted slightly as mine pressed against her. I felt her suck in her breath as we kissed, heard a light sigh slide from the corner of her mouth when I pulled back. It had lasted only a second, but it was not the sort of kiss a father and daughter usually share.

Tera stared at me a brief moment, then smiled, trembling. She said nothing, and neither did I.

We went upstairs and into my bedroom. Inside, I watched as she slowly drew the nightshirt from her body, and once more, my daughter's beautiful naked tits were visible.

This time, though, she was completely nude. Her lovely red bush rose off of her Mons like soft fur, and her labia protruded just enough to see the wonderful slit between her legs. I couldn't breathe.

Tera smiled and slid into bed, covering herself with the blankets. I hesitated just a moment before removing my clothes. Tera watched my hard penis bounce when I slid down my pants. I longed for her to touch it, to take it into her mouth.

I slid into bed and she turned her back to me. I got behind her and as we formed a spoon, I could feel my cock pressing against her soft ass cheek. I was so close, so close to fucking my daughter. I knew she'd have let me, knew I could have had what I most desired in that moment.

I can't fully explain why I only held her, why, with her young, trembling body touching mine, her tiny, virgin pussy just inches from my penis, I couldn't do it. I think it was the shame and guilt I carried. If this was to happen with Tera, I wanted my conscience to be clear. Or, at least as clear as it could be. My night with Shawna had made me feel dirty and unworthy, shallow. What I'd done the night before with Jacey and Heather was worse. I couldn't do what I wanted to do with Tera because, I honestly felt, I wasn't worthy of her.

I knew Tera was willing to give me her virginity in that moment, that, even as I throbbed against her, so close to her sex, she wanted me to be her first. My mind raced. I even moved my hips a couple of times, just to feel Tera's hot skin against me. I knew I drooled precum onto her ass.

But I just couldn't. It's hard to fathom, really, but I cared much more about my daughter than I did for anyone else. The awful things I'd been willing to do to others, I couldn't do to Tera. I accepted that she was willing, consenting, that we could enjoy a night together and wake up the morning with her not remembering our coupling. But it mattered tremendously to me that I didn't come to that moment with my crimes so fresh in my mind. When it happened, and I knew it would, I wanted it to be perfect.

So, even as Tera let out a soft sigh as I wrapped my arm across her tender breasts, I did nothing more than hold her. “I love you, Tera... thank you for listening...”

She turned back, her hips rolling slightly, smiling, “I love you, too, Dad.” She held there just a moment, then her head rose and she pressed her lips to mine. I savored my daughter's delicate mouth for long minutes, the two of us locked together like young lovers, both innocent and not.

I finally broke away, realizing that if we kept going, I'd be sliding myself inside her. I loved kissing Tera, loved holding her, but the dirty state of my mind left me unwilling to go further. God, my mind raced, my cock wanting to slide into Tera, but the part of me in control couldn't do that, not yet. Still, I raged in my internal debate.

“Dad?” Tera said in a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“If you wake up tomorrow and I don't remember anything... Don't let Curt be my first... Promise me...”

“I promise. He'll never get that wonderful gift...”

Tera didn't speak again. She rested her head on the pillow and I wrapped myself around her as tightly as possible. I don't think I fell asleep that night. As it did when I hit the stop time, there was only blackness at the end.